I accomplished two things last week.

First, I finished reading one of the most insightful and helpful books I’ve read in a long time.  It’s called, “The Coddling of the American Mind”.  You’ve maybe heard of it, as the authors, Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff, have been discussing their thoughts on social media for a number of years now. The book was published in 2018 after their article in The Atlantic got a lot of attention a few years earlier. I read it because I was interested in hearing their thoughts about life on college campuses, both because we work with 100 college students every summer and because I’m raising two daughters who will one day be young adults themselves!  

The second thing I did was take a 2-day training with Eli Liebowitz at the Yale Child Study Center. I wrote about his SPACE program in a previous blog and was so interested in his theory and process that I wanted to learn how to put it into practice myself.  As a reminder, Dr. Leibowitz has created a way for clinicians to work with the PARENTS of kids who are anxious in an effort to help them teach their children that they have the ability to do hard things, that they can work through discomfort – without parents “accommodating” them by removing the stressors or coming to their aid.  The idea is that we can help parents step back so that their children understand their own resilience. It’s powerful and it works!  

Insights from “The Coddling of the American Mind” and the SPACE Program

So, what do these two accomplishments have in common, and what do they have to do with camp?  Well, first, I love sharing resources with our Akeela community so I’d urge you to explore both the book and the SPACE program. Also, I’m excited to bring what I’ve learned to our campers and staff this summer.  The biggest overlap for me is the idea that when things make us feel uncomfortable, we are not necessarily unsafe or in any real danger.  There is what Haidt and Lukianoff call the “Great Untruth” of “safetyism” that is pervasive on college campuses and, I would argue, is also spreading out into the general public, including our middle and high schools. They suggest that many people now believe this: “What doesn’t kill me makes me weaker”….a (faulty) belief that we need to avoid all pain and any POTENTIAL struggle.  

Another “untruth” from the book is “Always trust your feelings” without challenging or questioning them. The authors explain that there is an underlying sense that we need to act on our FEELINGS without pause. “Trusting your gut” is fine and serves a purpose, but both of these untruths also mean that a large number of people – and I’m most worried about our teens and young adults here – are missing out on GROWTH opportunities.  Blindly following your feelings rather than questioning the thoughts and data that might accompany those emotions can be unwise and unhelpful. If we don’t face challenges or take a chance, we will never learn or stretch — and that is concerning. If we allow our child to sleep next to us every night because he is afraid of the dark, we are not giving him the chance to develop a belief in himself that he can be safe on his own. If we allow our child to eat by herself in the nurse’s office every day because she’s worried that someone will tease her in the cafeteria, we are validating her belief/thought that she can’t tolerate discomfort of something that hasn’t even happened yet … and thus might miss out on making a friend.

Encouraging Growth Through Discomfort at Camp

One of the suggestions at the end of “Coddling” is that parents should send their children to camp. Of course! Camp is where we challenge campers to stretch their comfort zones. Parents often ask me on our initial call about camp, “What do you recommend when a child doesn’t want to go to camp because he’s never done it before?” And I always say the same thing, “MOST children – especially children who struggle socially and with anxiety – do not want to do something new.  It’s hard and it takes work … AND with guidance and managed expectations, most kids are able to push through that initial fear and are able to truly thrive at camp.” What a gift to be able to give to children: the ability to help them learn that they have what it takes to work through something uncomfortable, and to come out the other side of those feelings with a sense of accomplishment and pride, stronger and more resilient for the experience. It’s honestly the best part of what we do at camp.  

Akeela’s Commitment to Helping Children Thrive at Camp

A few takeaways that we’ll be implementing at camp this summer:

• We will continue to encourage our campers and staff to recognize the growth potential in doing things that make them uncomfortable: things they are scared to try, things that they think they may not be good at, things they’ve never done before — of course without ever compromising their physical or emotional safety.
• We will use language like this, “I know you’re worried about trying this and I’m 100% confident that you have what it takes to do it.”
• We will not “over-accommodate” campers or staff who are feeling anxious about something.  Instead, we will explain how confident we are that they can do it and will give them space and support they need to succeed.  

While none of this is really NEW to us at Akeela, it’s always nice to be reminded how important camp is.  We believe that camp is one of the best ways to teach kids (and staff) the skills they need to become resilient. We can’t wait to get back to work this summer!

As the parent of a child with Asperger’s, we know that you want to find the right camp that will help your child develop social skills, confidence, and independence. With so many choices available, it can be overwhelming to choose the right camp for your child. Here are some things to consider when choosing an Asperger’s Teen Camp for 2023.

Akeela offers a unique experience for kids and teens with Asperger’s, and similar neurodiverse profiles, with a focus on social skills development

Camp Akeela is truly something special, offering a unique summer experience for campers with Asperger’s. With a focus on social skills development, Camp Akeela provides an environment that promotes independence, self-confidence, and growth. Through activities specifically tailored to neurodivergent children, as well as scaffolded support from specialists in fields like Social Work, Psychology or Special Education, Camp Akeela allows these remarkable children to take part in experiences unlike any other summer camp – growing and learning together as part of an accepting community.

Camp Akeela also offers a variety of activities, from traditional camp activities like swimming and hiking to more specialized programs like drama, music, cooking, and art. With a wide range of activities for all interests and ability levels, your child will be able to make the most out of their summer at Camp Akeela.

Camp Akeela provides a supportive and inclusive environment for all children

Camp Akeela is an Asperger’s sleepaway camp that creates a unique and supportive environment for children with neurodiversity. Through empowering activities and interactive social skills workshops, campers begin to build community as they create meaningful friendships through trust, mutual respect, and love. Every activity is designed to foster a sense of unity as everyone strives to reach confidence and independence in an inclusive atmosphere. Camp Akeela not only encourages campers to make friends and be productive within their own social circles – they also provide lasting impressions as these children leave the camp each summer brimming with a newfound sense of self-belief and appreciation for those around them.

Akeela helps children to develop confidence and independence through various activities

At Camp Akeela, Asperger’s children can experience the benefits of developing confidence and gaining independence through engaging in age-appropriate activities that are combined with being part of a team. These activities include sports, crafts, and nature-based projects as well as educational discussions intended to help children improve their social skills as well as learn problem-solving strategies. The dedicated staff and volunteers at this camp strive to create a safe and supportive environment where children have the opportunity to develop positive self-esteem as they embrace the challenges of achieving their goals in this encouraging summer camp setting.

The camp staff are experienced and qualified to work with neurodiverse children

At Camp Akeela, camp counselors are experienced and qualified to provide the highest quality of care for children with neurodiversity. They understand the unique needs of campers and recognize that fostering independence is a key factor in campers’ social and cognitive development. Through activities like sports or recreational events, campers learn to work together as a team while developing problem-solving skills and self-empowerment. Camp staff carefully observe campers’ progress and adjust the activities accordingly so campers can gain a sense of accomplishment, improve their confidence and build meaningful relationships with their camp peers.

Apply for Summer 2023

Camp Akeela is the perfect place for you to apply your child for camp 2023! This supportive, creative, and engaging summer sleepaway camp allows children with Asperger’s or NLD — or similar neurodivergent campers — to have an amazing time building social skills, independence, and developing confidence. Through various activities designed specifically for them, your child will be able to gain an unforgettable experience meeting new friends and creating positive memories that will last forever. Don’t miss out on this amazing opportunity!

I was made aware of a program at the Yale Child Study Center last year and since hearing about it from a clinical colleague, it has come up around a dozen times. The program is called SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) and was created by Dr. Eli Lebowitz. The premise is one that I believe is the key to helping anxious children work through their emotions so that they can overcome challenges that might be keeping them from participating fully in activities (including ones that might seem “easy” to others – like sleeping). SPACE works with parents of anxious children. The child never actually meets with the therapist! Parents are taught how to set limits and boundaries around their own behaviors.

Common Methods of Dealing with Childhood Anxiety

As parents, we often OVER-support and over-correct for our child when they are struggling – it’s natural to want to fix something when our child is having a hard time. In actuality, rather than helping, we are often giving our children the message that they are helpless or that they have REASON to be anxious. We’re reinforcing their worries.

This is one of the key factors that contributes to why I believe our campers are so successful at Akeela. Parents often ask us, “What’s your secret?”, “How did you get my child to do xyz?”. There are a few answers but many times, it has to do with the fact that we are not our campers’ parents. That means that we have a different relationship with the children in our care and we are more likely to be able to set boundaries with them when necessary and helpful. In other words, we can be objective. At home, when a child is struggling, they know that a caregiver will likely be able to help them. They may ask for that help before they really do the hard work of trying over and over to accomplish their goal. At camp, a counselor is also always nearby but a child may actually make more of an effort to solve a problem or try something difficult before they ask for help. And when they ask for help, a counselor at camp is more likely to support them and cheer them on as they insist that the camper do the work before they step in themselves.

Providing Independence to Help Manage Childhood Anxiety

Camp provides a safe space for children to challenge and push themselves. Without parents to quickly step in and “fix” or “smooth out” challenges, campers learn that they have the necessary skills to do the hard things in life. Just the decision to send a child away to camp is an indicator that a parent WANTS a child to gain these skills. Although not always easy, letting go as a parent sends a message to a camper that they have faith that the child has the skills necessary to be independent.

As you think about sending your child away to camp for the first time, try to challenge yourself to wait before stepping in to aid your child. Tell them you believe in them – that you believe they have the skills necessary to complete the task or work through the anxiety at hand. Many children are motivated by camp (or another upcoming event, trip or social opportunity) and parents can use that as a way to help children step out of their own anxiety. You can say something like, “I know this feels hard right now but I/we know you can work through it on your own. Going to camp means that you will be able to accomplish so much without our help and this a great opportunity for you to practice right now.”

As parents, we have to do our own hard work in order to help our children succeed to the best of their ability. We have to let go of our very natural instinct to want to protect, save and care for our children when they are having a hard time. Because, in the end, letting go and stepping away is the most helpful thing we can do.

For more information about SPACE, you can check out these links:

Ted Talk from Eli Lebowitz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExVvAn9hcjY

SPACE program website: https://www.spacetreatment.net/

Popular and news media tend to focus on the challenges that neurodiverse individuals face, but here at Camp Akeela we help campers with Aspergers Syndrome and Autism overcome social difficulties and embrace who they are so they can go out into the world and pursue their dreams! That’s why we find it so affirming to our campers when we can tell them about wildly successful people who are also, as we like to say, quirky. Elon Musk has entered the chat!

Elon Musk, the billionaire and founder of Tesla Motors, SpaceX, SolarCity and PayPal – and most recently, Dogecoin cryptocurrency advocate – announced last month, while hosting Saturday Night Live, that he had been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, which we hope will inspire neurodiverse teens to pursue their dreams. While not everyone desires to be an entrepreneur or billionaire businessman, our obvious takeaway is this – don’t let NVLDs hold you back!

As Dr. Matthew Siegel, VP of medical affairs at Maine Behavioral Healthcare in Portland said, when interviewed by WebMD, after the announcement:

“I think the thing that is exciting is that if Elon Musk is reporting he has autism — whether using an outdated term or not — is for the public to see a person lift the stigma about diagnoses like autism, by whatever name it is called. And people can see that individuals with autism, some, can be quite successful and part of our society.”

Last year we discussed Chris Rock’s similar announcement that he had been diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder. In addition to building confidence in our campers, we hope the growing list of successful neurodiverse people also helps remove the stigma created by how these diagnoses are often treated in popular media and the general lack of awareness and understanding. As Musk aid on SNL:

“Look, I know I sometimes say or post strange things, but that’s just how my brain works,” he said. “To anyone I’ve offended, I just want to say, I reinvented electric cars and I’m sending people to Mars in a rocket ship. Did you think I was also going to be a chill, normal dude?”

Ain’t that the truth! If you’ve followed Musk on social media, you know he’s certainly quirky, but when you look at what this man has achieved before the age of 50 – well, the results speak for themselves. And we love that Elon feels comfortable joking about what makes him unique – how boring would be it be if none of us ever did that?

While Elon didn’t dwell on the topic, we hope that younger readers of this blog will use this announcement as a source of encouragement and that the parents in our audience will share this and other success stories with their children, as we all try to find our way in this world.

Photo Credit:The Royal Society, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons