Breaking Free: My Takeaways from “How to Break Up with Your Phone” by Catherine Price

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After another summer at camp where I am able to completely unplug from social media and the news and the mindless scrolling that comes along with both of those things, I realized that my camp relationship with my phone was much healthier than my home relationship!  So I decided to seek help from our local library and I recently finished reading “How to Break Up with Your Phone” by Catherine Price!  It’s not your average self-help book—it’s a practical, science-backed guide on how to reclaim control over our devices and, ultimately, our lives.

The Phone “Problem”

The core issue, as Price describes it, isn’t that phones are bad—it’s that we’ve developed an unhealthy attachment to them. This stems from their design: social media platforms, notifications, and even the apps we use daily are built to capture and maintain our attention for as long as possible. In the process, they change how we think, what we pay attention to, and even how we interact with the world around us.

As I read through the first chapters, I found myself thinking about my habits—checking my phone right after waking up, constantly reaching for it in idle moments, even using it as an escape from boredom. Sound familiar?

The 30-Day Plan

What really sets this book apart is the actionable plan Price outlines: a 30-day “phone breakup.” This isn’t about throwing your phone out the window or going on a digital detox for good. It’s about creating space between you and your device, so you can have a healthier, more intentional relationship with it. I’ll admit, some of it was pretty obvious and some was a bit “cheesy”, but it was still helpful to see it all laid out for me in print!

The Benefits of Breaking Up

One of the most powerful takeaways from the book is that, in breaking up with your phone, you gain so much more than just extra time. Price points out the ways in which phone overuse impacts our memory, creativity, and mental health. By reducing screen time, we not only free up space for more meaningful activities but also allow ourselves to be present in our own lives.

This reminds me of the experiences shared by children who attend screen-free summer camps like Camp Akeela. These camps, where kids spend days or weeks entirely free from phones and other devices, provide living proof of the benefits of stepping away from screens. At Camp Akeela, campers report feeling more connected to nature, making deeper friendships, and rediscovering hobbies and interests they might not otherwise have explored. It’s a clear example of how stepping back from technology fosters creativity, enhances social connections, and brings a sense of calm and focus that’s hard to find when we’re constantly plugged in.

For example, instead of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram during downtime, I started using those moments to read more, reflect, or just be still. The result? I feel more focused and less frazzled. I’ve also noticed I’m more engaged in conversations and less distracted during family time—something I didn’t realize I was missing out on.

Practical Tips that Worked for Me

  1. **Turn off unnecessary notifications**: I used to get notified for every email, message, and app update. Turning off all but the essentials has drastically reduced the number of times I instinctively check my phone.
  2. **Establish phone-free times and places**: Keeping my phone out of the bedroom has helped me sleep better. I also started leaving my phone in another room during meals, which made me more present during family time.
  3. **Use apps to track and limit phone use**: Price encourages readers to download apps that monitor phone usage. Seeing those stats was a reality check. I set daily limits on my social media usage, which has been a game-changer.
  4. **Replace idle phone use with something intentional**: Instead of reaching for my phone when I’m bored, I now carry a book with me or take a moment to daydream. It’s amazing how much we rely on our phones to fill every empty second.

Final Thoughts

I want to be more present in my life for my family and friends but also because I realize that I’m missing out on so many of the little things when I’m looking at my phone.  Because of camp, I know what it feels like to be screen-free (it’s more like “screen-limited”).  It’s such a gift to have almost 3 months away from technology and even more so for our children who seem to be even more entrenched in their digital life than we are.  On top of that, we also know that folks who are Neurodivergent are even more likely to be reliant on technology and having a break allows them to reset expectations around screen time.  18 years ago, when we started Akeela and decided not to have any technology, I don’t think we really understood how important that would be for our campers, but it turns out it might be one of the top 5 most beneficial outcomes of a summer at camp.  

Holiday 2023 Newsletter

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Read the Holiday 2023 Newsletter Here


Happy New Year!

While we still haven’t gotten any “real” snow here in Philadelphia, up at camp, it’s a winter wonderland! It’s hard to believe that 2023 is over and that camp is less than six months away! We’ve been very busy talking to new families about Akeela and we find so much joy in sharing stories about our community and the amazing development of friendships we’ve witnessed since 2008!

We’re excited to welcome our new campers this summer and can’t wait to see them fall in love with Akeela as much as all of our returning campers have. We’re also meeting a lot of incredibly talented and passionate staff members who will be joining us from all over the US and the world! Our community has always been one of acceptance and that makes us feel extremely proud!

As the calendar turns to a new year, we want to tell you how grateful we are to you – our Akeela community. We feel so lucky to have an extended camp family with whom we can share the gifts of friendship, community, growth, pride and fun! We can’t wait to see you up at camp in 2024!

Love,

Eric, Debbie & Erin

Also in this edition of the newsletter:

  • Photos of some new Akeela swag & camp under lots of snow
  • Our advice for making the holiday season as smooth as it can be

Read the Holiday 2023 Newsletter Here

February 2021 Newsletter and Upcoming Webinars

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The February edition of our Akeela newsletter is here!

With cold weather and more snow than we’ve had in a number of years here in Philly, we are even MORE excited that camp is on the horizon! We cannot wait for June! Eric and Ben have been spending a great deal of time interviewing staff who have impressed us with their talents and passion. We’ve also rehired a number of former staff members who can’t wait to get back to Miller Pond. And, of course, we’ve loved catching up with all of you by phone, emails and on our virtual programs. Debbie has been busier than ever meeting and enrolling new campers who are so excited to join the Akeela community this summer.

Camp is happening and we’re ready for it!

Of course, we know many of you have questions about how camp will be different this summer due to COVID. This newsletter includes some answers to those questions. Hopefully, you’ve also visited our COVID web page, which is updated regularly.

You’ll also find information about a couple of very exciting upcoming webinars:

  • February 28, 2021: Helping My Neurodiverse Child Get Ready for Life’s Transitions (Including Going To Camp!), with Dr. Anthony Rostain and Dr. B Janet Hibbs, authors of The Stressed Years of Their Lives.   Register here for this FREE webinar.

 

Read the entire newsletter here.

 

Professional and Personal Life Changing Summers – Rachel Gallagher, Camp Cabin Counselor

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Hello! My name is Rachel, and currently I’m a 23-year-old medical student at the University of Minnesota. The two summers that I’ve spent working at Camp Akeela have been among the best of my life. Even though I first came to Akeela with foundational knowledge of the autism spectrum, I’d never actually gone to a summer camp myself as a kid; as a result, I had no idea what to expect about life at Akeela. It turns out that my summers at Akeela were life-changing in so many meaningful ways, both professionally and personally. 

As a medical student, working at Akeela has given me a chance to spend tons of time interacting closely with a unique patient demographic – highly intelligent young people who face some social skills challenges. Being a cabin counselor at Akeela has ensured that I develop skills essential to healthcare, such as communication, problem solving, and empathy. Now when I approach clinical challenges in a medical setting, I find myself thinking back to the complex social situations I experienced and facilitated at Akeela; utilizing the strategies I learned through working with Akeela campers undoubtedly improves my patient-care interactions. 

Beyond professional development, I’ve also gained a second home through Akeela. I had never guessed that within just a few weeks, my campers and co-workers would become like family to me. On hard days, even months later, thinking back to memories of Akeela makes life better.  I never fail to smile as I relive the moment that one of my teen campers literally jumped with joy because of the free samples at the Ben and Jerry’s factory. Sometimes I wake up in the morning convinced that I’m back in Cabin 2 and surrounded by my group of sleeping campers; starting a day by thinking of Akeela like this always makes me wish that my next summer on Miller Pond could come around faster.Camp Akeela Counselors Change Lives

 

Teens and Technology

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I just finished reading two articles about the impact of smartphones on our emotional wellbeing and our intelligence. Neither article was uplifting. The bottom line is that our constant use of our phones has caused us to feel more depressed, to sleep less, to interact with others less and to be more distracted. All of these factors are even more intense for teens who are using phones these days as a way to interact with peers.

An article in the Atlantic (https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/) highlights how much things have changed for teens since most parents were going through middle school and high school. The author reminds those of us who are GenXers of an adolescence marked by events like rushing to get our drivers licenses, an eagerness to have time with friends away from parents and dating. Teens now are much more likely to spend time alone in their rooms connecting with peers using social media. They use Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. None of this is inherently bad – in fact, teens these days feel lucky that they don’t have to leave home to be with friends. The problem is that, although they are connected to peers, the author notes that teens report feeling “alone and distressed”. Teens report that they struggle to interact in person after being so used to screen interactions.

Most notable to me was the author’s findings that teens feel MORE left out these days. It’s obvious when a teen is not invited to a party when everyone on social media is posting photos of parties or gatherings from which they have been excluded. Girls, in particular, are masterful cyberbullies and it seems that teens feel more at liberty to be unkind when they don’t have to look their victim in the eyes. For young adults who are struggling socially, for those who have trouble navigating the complicated social world, who are feeling left out and different, social media is even more troublesome.

The author suggests that, although very difficult, parents should work hard to limit time teens spend on social media. (The other article I read in the WSJ – https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-smartphones-hijack-our-minds-1507307811, also suggests that even having a phone NEAR us decreases our ability to focus.) The more we can encourage young adults to spend time face-to-face with one another, participating in activities that DON’T involve screens, the more likely they will be to feel less depressed, to sleep better and to feel less alone. Camp seems like a great opportunity to practice this. Taking a break for a few weeks from screens can literally be life-changing.

Empathy

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A mom from Akeela Family Camp recently posted a research study about individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome and empathy. (The 2009 study by Henry and Kamila Markram of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Lausanne is referenced here, here and elsewhere). While the research is a few years old, we believe it is extremely relevant.

We have always said that the notion that our campers (and those like them) lack empathy is absolutely bogus. We have seen time and time again that our campers are extremely caring individuals who are capable of understanding the emotions of others and showing them compassion. There are times at camp when we believe that a typically developing child would not be as insightful in an emotional moment as our children are. We had a 11-year-old camper this past summer who made it his goal to help support all of the campers he met who were feeling homesick. There were many times when we would see this boy with his arm around a peer and overhear him saying something like, “It’s OK to feel sad; I felt sad my first summer too”.

Our experience is reflective of the Markrams’ research conclusions: that those with ASD are actually hypersensitive to the emotional experiences of those around them. That “over-experiencing” of others’ emotions can be very overwhelming and can create the individual to shut down or escape into their own world.

We believe it is imperative that we not assume how others experience the world. We’ve often told parents that our kids work harder than most performing everyday tasks; it’s as if they are trying to interact with environmental stimuli while simultaneously performing long division at hearing background static. It’s hard to do so many things at once. When our campers “shut down” or retreat into themselves for a few minutes, we don’t assume they are disinterested. Instead, we suspect they are taking a moment to organize their experience. Although our campers do not always know how to express themselves in the exact ways that society expects, they deserve to be recognized as people filled with genuine feelings, rich emotional lives and yes, empathy.

– Debbie and Eric

Holiday Family Time with a Child with Special Needs

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The holidays are a stressful time for everyone. There are gifts to buy, meals to cook and family members to visit. The joy that we all look forward to and the warm family moments around the fireplace sharing memories of seasons past are often fantasies that don’t work out the way we plan. And then, the joy becomes stress and resentment. All of this is true for most families but it is more common for families who have a child who struggles socially (including those with Asperger’s, NLD / NVLD).

Holidays bring about change and change is hard! At Camp Akeela, we do everything we can to prepare our campers for changes in routine. We try to give them as much notice as possible. (Rainy day plans are more difficult as the weather in Vermont is not always predictable!) Schedule changes are discussed and printed. We allow some time for our kids to express disappointment and frustration with any changes but then we move on and get them involved in an activity that they enjoy. When we can anticipate the events that make our children anxious, we can help alleviate (though not eliminate) that anxiety and perhaps allow for smoother sailing.

Our campers really enjoy helping others and they get very involved in our community service days at camp. The holidays are a wonderful time to remind our children of how much they have to be thankful for in their lives and to share some of that with others. Perhaps your child can choose a local charity that he is interested in supporting and can do some research on how he can support that cause. Then, the whole family can get involved in working together to give back. This is a wonderful way to spend family time and to teach children empathy. (It’s also a great way to add structure to a week without school!)

Many families have told us that they dread holidays … they spend family gatherings worrying that their child will do or say something that is embarrassing, inappropriate or rude, that he may have a complete meltdown and that everyone else will judge or give unsolicited (and unhelpful) advice. If we plan for these potential pitfalls and even predict them for key family members, the holiday may feel more relaxed and enjoyable.

Here are some suggestions for ways to make your holiday and family time run smoothly:

  • Preview any schedule changes a few days in advance and give your child a printed plan or itinerary.
  • Try to keep her routine as close to normal as possible. For example, for the week without school, try to keep wakeup, meals and bedtime as close to a typical day as possible. Maintain normal school-week expectations, when possible (e.g. limits on screen time, household responsibilities, etc.)
  • Make sure your child will find something familiar to eat at big holiday meals so that you know that he will eat something and feel valued
  • Bring along your child’s favorite game or an activity he can play with others at family gatherings
  • Bring along something she can do independently in case she does not want to participate in the group activities or conversations
  • Try to relax and enjoy your family. Things may not go exactly as planned but that’s ok … holidays never do!

— Debbie

Asperger’s and Bullying: Summer Camp Can Help!

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A mother of a Camp Akeela camper recently sent us the link to a New York Times article about school bullying: “School Bullies Prey on Children with Austism”. The author explains how kids on the spectrum, and other quirky children – those who learn differently or have unusual mannerisms or who don’t share interests with most of their classmates – are much more vulnerable to teasing and bullying at school. Of course, as directors of a camp for kids with Aspergers and NLD, this wasn’t news to us. Many of our Akeela campers feel that school represents a social world that can be fast-paced, cruel and unforgiving. They tell us that lunch and recess (and often gym class) are the hardest times of day. During class, although they may get funny looks for shouting out the right answers or not wearing the most up-to-date fashions, at least a teacher is there to intercede. In the cafeteria, they’re expected to navigate social situations on their own. For our campers, this can be extremely difficult. Where should they sit? Who can they talk to? What should they talk about?

At our final campfire on the last night of the camp session, we take some time to reflect upon the time we’ve spent together as a community. We talk about all of the campers’ wonderful accomplishments: becoming more independent, leaving home for three and a half weeks, going without video games!, cleaning their cabins every morning, making new friends, trying new activities and pushing themselves to do things out of their comfort zone. We encourage them to remember how accepted and loved they feel in that moment, the final night of camp. We tell them that we know how hard school can be at times and that not everyone they encounter will appreciate them for who they are. We tell them, “When you have a bad day, when someone is unkind, close your eyes and imagine you’re back on Miller Pond surrounded by friends who really care about you.”

As camp professionals, we believe that all children need to have experiences away from home where they feel successful, where they know that they are likable, where they are accepted for who they are. For our campers, that’s even more true. Children on the autism spectrum need to have experiences in safe environments where they can learn and grow, including learning how to fail. Those experiences give them the confidence and skills to manage the “real world”, where people can be so unkind.

– Debbie, Eric and Jaynie

Autism Awareness and an Increase in Diagnosed Children

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As reported recently in the Wall Street Journal (and elsewhere), autism diagnoses have risen sharply in recent years. The CDC announced a 23% increase in the number of people diagnosed “on the spectrum”, including as many as 1 in 88 American children.

As always when a study like this is released, doctors and scientists rushed to speculate what the change in numbers is all about. Some attribute the increase to a newer awareness in lower income families and minority groups who have previously been under-diagnosed. Others suggest that the change may be due to environmental factors, including vaccines – although this theory has been largely disputed and the original research tying vaccines to autism is now known to have been based on “bad science”. Finally, others wonder if the increase in diagnosed individuals is not indicative of a rise in the incidence of autism, but rather in increase in the awareness of doctors, therapist and parents who recognize less obvious behaviors as attributable to a spectrum disorder.

For those high-functioning kids that we know and love (Asperger’s, NLD, PDD-NOS, HFA), we definitely feel that the rise in diagnoses is at least partially due to a better understanding of these conditions. Asperger’s, for example, is a fairly new diagnosis. Many individuals were just thought of as “quirky” or “eccentric” until the mid-90s when the Asperger’s diagnosis really took hold in the US. Now, it seems as though Asperger’s is everywhere – books, movies, the news, etc. I know from our campers that being a member of this fairly new “tribe” has been somewhat of an awakening for them. They are happy to feel a part of a group – an experience that is not always familiar to them.

Regardless of why more individuals are being diagnosed, we are happy to see that there is more awareness and that people are talking about the Autism Spectrum. I turned on NPR the other day and quickly realized the segment was about ASD. A gentleman in his 60s called in and said that he was diagnosed with Asperger’s in his 50s and having the diagnosis was such a relief. He now understood why he was the way he was. It gave him some comfort. If that’s the case for many other individuals with AS, then perhaps this rise is a positive: more self-awareness, pride and connection for those on the spectrum and more public understanding, advocacy and appreciation for the “Aspies” among us!

— Debbie

Camp Arrival Day

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When I was asked to be a “guest blogger” I started thinking about the start of the summer and in particular, arriving at camp. Arrival Day is a big deal. Some people find it exciting, some totally overwhelming … and I’m talking about everyone: campers, families, staff, newcomers and returners. I come from the UK, where camp isn’t nearly as much a “way of life” as it is for many in the US. When I first started my camp career many years ago, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Yes, I’d seen movies set at camps and read all of the information that I’d been sent, but it was all a bit of a voyage into the unknown. I had my safety net though, as I knew a couple of people at that camp. Years later, when I started working at Akeela, it was a different story. This time I knew the basics of camp life but didn’t know anybody at Akeela. I’d spoken with Debbie and Eric on Skype, but that was it. Both very nerve-wracking experiences, but both very positive experiences. I was made to feel so welcome at each, and quickly came to feel like a part of the family.

Over the years, I’ve seen many different ways of people handling their emotions on Arrival Day. From those who arrive filled with energy, eager to see old friends and have new experiences, to those who experience more difficulty with their transition: the camper who refused to enter their cabin because “it smells of wood”, the boy who refused to speak for 8 days and would only communicate by scribbling notes, the girl who was so over-stimulated that she couldn’t stop talking, barely even pausing to draw breath.

The arrival that will stay with me forever though, comes from my second year as a Unit Leader at my old camp. Arrival Day was going smoothly, and eventually the time came when the buses arrived, and everyone had arrived. I was performing my duties and checking people off on my list, when I realized that one was missing. At pretty much the same moment, my walkie-talkie crackled into life and asked me to make my way to the Health Center. When I arrived I was confronted with the sight of a young man, sobbing and on the verge of hysteria. One of the nurses pulled me to one side and told me that he’d been like this for a lot of the bus ride, and so they got him off the bus at the office and brought him straight to the Health Center to try and calm him down. I sat down and talked to him for a good couple of hours. I found out that he was homesick, that this was the first time he had been so far away from home and that he thought that he had made a big mistake coming to camp for the summer. Over the two hours, he calmed down a lot, and when I eventually asked him if he felt ready to go down to the bunk and meet people he nervously agreed.

The thing is that this was not Camper Arrival Day, it was the Staff Arrival Day! Martijn was a 22 year old counselor who had come on his own from the Netherlands. Well, it took Martijn a few days to come out of his shell, but he turned out to be one of the most empathetic and engaging counselors I have ever had the privilege of working with. He came back to camp for three years and did some fantastic work with the campers that were placed in his care. We’re still in touch to this day, and he always reminds me of his inauspicious arrival and how he didn’t think he would make it that summer, and I think that’s what will stay with me.

In fact, I suppose that’s what I’m trying to say in this blog. No matter how nervous you feel about coming to camp, we’ll do our very best to help you through it and get you to have an amazing summer. Everyone that I’ve mentioned here went on to have a great time and made new friends, enjoyed their activities and did better than they thought they would with being away from home. Sometimes these things aren’t the easiest, and that’s OK – but there are always people who are there to help and make you feel better.

– Rob Glyn-Jones
Camp Akeela Head Counselor