Breaking Free: My Takeaways from “How to Break Up with Your Phone” by Catherine Price

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After another summer at camp where I am able to completely unplug from social media and the news and the mindless scrolling that comes along with both of those things, I realized that my camp relationship with my phone was much healthier than my home relationship!  So I decided to seek help from our local library and I recently finished reading “How to Break Up with Your Phone” by Catherine Price!  It’s not your average self-help book—it’s a practical, science-backed guide on how to reclaim control over our devices and, ultimately, our lives.

The Phone “Problem”

The core issue, as Price describes it, isn’t that phones are bad—it’s that we’ve developed an unhealthy attachment to them. This stems from their design: social media platforms, notifications, and even the apps we use daily are built to capture and maintain our attention for as long as possible. In the process, they change how we think, what we pay attention to, and even how we interact with the world around us.

As I read through the first chapters, I found myself thinking about my habits—checking my phone right after waking up, constantly reaching for it in idle moments, even using it as an escape from boredom. Sound familiar?

The 30-Day Plan

What really sets this book apart is the actionable plan Price outlines: a 30-day “phone breakup.” This isn’t about throwing your phone out the window or going on a digital detox for good. It’s about creating space between you and your device, so you can have a healthier, more intentional relationship with it. I’ll admit, some of it was pretty obvious and some was a bit “cheesy”, but it was still helpful to see it all laid out for me in print!

The Benefits of Breaking Up

One of the most powerful takeaways from the book is that, in breaking up with your phone, you gain so much more than just extra time. Price points out the ways in which phone overuse impacts our memory, creativity, and mental health. By reducing screen time, we not only free up space for more meaningful activities but also allow ourselves to be present in our own lives.

This reminds me of the experiences shared by children who attend screen-free summer camps like Camp Akeela. These camps, where kids spend days or weeks entirely free from phones and other devices, provide living proof of the benefits of stepping away from screens. At Camp Akeela, campers report feeling more connected to nature, making deeper friendships, and rediscovering hobbies and interests they might not otherwise have explored. It’s a clear example of how stepping back from technology fosters creativity, enhances social connections, and brings a sense of calm and focus that’s hard to find when we’re constantly plugged in.

For example, instead of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram during downtime, I started using those moments to read more, reflect, or just be still. The result? I feel more focused and less frazzled. I’ve also noticed I’m more engaged in conversations and less distracted during family time—something I didn’t realize I was missing out on.

Practical Tips that Worked for Me

  1. **Turn off unnecessary notifications**: I used to get notified for every email, message, and app update. Turning off all but the essentials has drastically reduced the number of times I instinctively check my phone.
  2. **Establish phone-free times and places**: Keeping my phone out of the bedroom has helped me sleep better. I also started leaving my phone in another room during meals, which made me more present during family time.
  3. **Use apps to track and limit phone use**: Price encourages readers to download apps that monitor phone usage. Seeing those stats was a reality check. I set daily limits on my social media usage, which has been a game-changer.
  4. **Replace idle phone use with something intentional**: Instead of reaching for my phone when I’m bored, I now carry a book with me or take a moment to daydream. It’s amazing how much we rely on our phones to fill every empty second.

Final Thoughts

I want to be more present in my life for my family and friends but also because I realize that I’m missing out on so many of the little things when I’m looking at my phone.  Because of camp, I know what it feels like to be screen-free (it’s more like “screen-limited”).  It’s such a gift to have almost 3 months away from technology and even more so for our children who seem to be even more entrenched in their digital life than we are.  On top of that, we also know that folks who are Neurodivergent are even more likely to be reliant on technology and having a break allows them to reset expectations around screen time.  18 years ago, when we started Akeela and decided not to have any technology, I don’t think we really understood how important that would be for our campers, but it turns out it might be one of the top 5 most beneficial outcomes of a summer at camp.  

February 2021 Newsletter and Upcoming Webinars

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The February edition of our Akeela newsletter is here!

With cold weather and more snow than we’ve had in a number of years here in Philly, we are even MORE excited that camp is on the horizon! We cannot wait for June! Eric and Ben have been spending a great deal of time interviewing staff who have impressed us with their talents and passion. We’ve also rehired a number of former staff members who can’t wait to get back to Miller Pond. And, of course, we’ve loved catching up with all of you by phone, emails and on our virtual programs. Debbie has been busier than ever meeting and enrolling new campers who are so excited to join the Akeela community this summer.

Camp is happening and we’re ready for it!

Of course, we know many of you have questions about how camp will be different this summer due to COVID. This newsletter includes some answers to those questions. Hopefully, you’ve also visited our COVID web page, which is updated regularly.

You’ll also find information about a couple of very exciting upcoming webinars:

  • February 28, 2021: Helping My Neurodiverse Child Get Ready for Life’s Transitions (Including Going To Camp!), with Dr. Anthony Rostain and Dr. B Janet Hibbs, authors of The Stressed Years of Their Lives.   Register here for this FREE webinar.

 

Read the entire newsletter here.

 

Why We All Need Family Camp

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Being a camp director is probably one of the most fulfilling careers a person can ask for. We work for nine months every year hiring staff, thinking about ways to improve our program, helping children connect with one another, improving our site … and the list goes on. When we realized that COVID-19 might affect this summer, we were actually at a camp conference in New Jersey with 3,000 other camp professionals. At that time, public health professionals and advisors were telling us to hang tight – they explained that most viruses die out in warmer weather and that testing and social distancing would really get the virus under control. We started planning for more cleaning supplies and soap and hand sanitizer. We began meeting with our camp colleagues on bi-weekly Zoom calls to talk about the hows and what-ifs. We had no idea in March that in May, we’d have to make the heart-breaking decision not to run our two camper sessions this summer.

As we end our third month of quarantine and maintaining social distance from our friends and community, we are starting to really feel the effects of being isolated. Our kids are really lonely and are expressing sadness about the loss of their own connections and communities. We are craving experiences outside of the walls of our home – taking hikes and going on neighborhood walks are certainly helpful but they don’t compare to having friends over for dinner, sitting in our favorite restaurants or going to the zoo or art museum with our kids. We often stay up late talking in whispers about when this will end. When will we be able to have our kids play with their friends? When will we feel safe going into busier places?

We believe that Family Camp is a great “next step” for us to start to safely and slowly expand our family “bubbles” (and two camp doctors who wrote this op-ed in the New York Times agree). Social connection with others is so important at this time, especially for young people with Asperger’s and autism. We want to have a chance to allow our campers and their parents and siblings to enjoy the Vermont air and more SPACE! Swimming in a lake seems like a luxury right now. I can’t imagine how I’ll feel when I can let my kids run around camp and not feel so confined. Maybe we’ll keep the screens off for a while! The change of scenery might be enough to help me feel less trapped and anxious. I’ve always thought that just being at Akeela feels sacred. Being in a special place where I can be with other people in a safer way will help me feel connected. And right now, that’s what we all need.

We invite you to learn more about our 2020 Family Camp and call us with any questions!

Why Camp is Important for Teens Too.

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Why Camp is still Important for High School Students

I recently had a conversation with a long-time Camp Akeela parent.  She was wondering whether or not camp was still an appropriate summer option for her 10th grader.  After many years at Akeela, she wondered if it was time to move on. So to encourage her son to get a job or to take summer classes.  She is certainly not alone in asking these questions.  As parents, many of us constantly worry if we’re making the right choices for our children.  Are we pushing them enough?  Are we pushing too hard?  And how much should we push during the summer?  Many parents wonder if their kids need some down time. And others worry that too much unstructured time leads to feeling depressed or lonely or even more anxious.

The transition phase for important life skill

As camp directors, it’s probably obvious that we believe that for most kids, camp is an amazing opportunity for our older teens.   For our long-time campers, one final summer as “the oldest”, is like a graduation year.  They benefit from feeling like they are the leaders in the community. That they have knowledge and wisdom about life that they can share with their younger peers.  It also enables them to learn how to transition away from childhood.  So many of our oldest campers struggle with saying goodbye. Either avoiding it all-together or becoming so emotional that it overwhelms other people.  Having a final summer at camp with peers who are going through the same transition is an opportunity to teach them. This very important life skill which will continue to come up as they begin new experiences and then have to leave them (college, jobs, relationships…etc.).

Camp Akeela Experience

We also believe that there is an important arc to the Akeela experience.  One where campers build upon skills they’ve developed in other years at Akeela.  In their oldest years at camp, our teens get more choice in their activity. More freedom to be in camp with less direct (obvious) supervision and opportunities to lead activities. And also to be role-models for younger campers.

After 9th and 10th grades, our campers participate in our “Teen Time” program where they can choose to participate in writing and performing Camp News. Or STEM projects (robotics and building an escape room) and community leadership (planning and running a camp activity and working closely with a younger bunk of campers).  In addition, our oldest teens benefit from guided conversations around topics that are particularly salient to that age group such as romantic relationships, appropriate use of social media and technology and wellness (mental health, hygiene, sleep and nutrition).

Finally, camp is fun.  While of course we believe there is value to learning how important it is to work hard and to earn money. We also think that finding opportunities for our campers to really connect with peers in a meaningful way. To feel totally accepted and to be a part of a community where they are valued is just not something that can be undervalued.  As our campers prepare for life beyond high school, we want them to head in to that next phase of their lives. On feeling secure in who they are.  We believe camp allows them to do that.

Teens and Technology

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I just finished reading two articles about the impact of smartphones on our emotional wellbeing and our intelligence. Neither article was uplifting. The bottom line is that our constant use of our phones has caused us to feel more depressed, to sleep less, to interact with others less and to be more distracted. All of these factors are even more intense for teens who are using phones these days as a way to interact with peers.

An article in the Atlantic (https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/) highlights how much things have changed for teens since most parents were going through middle school and high school. The author reminds those of us who are GenXers of an adolescence marked by events like rushing to get our drivers licenses, an eagerness to have time with friends away from parents and dating. Teens now are much more likely to spend time alone in their rooms connecting with peers using social media. They use Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. None of this is inherently bad – in fact, teens these days feel lucky that they don’t have to leave home to be with friends. The problem is that, although they are connected to peers, the author notes that teens report feeling “alone and distressed”. Teens report that they struggle to interact in person after being so used to screen interactions.

Most notable to me was the author’s findings that teens feel MORE left out these days. It’s obvious when a teen is not invited to a party when everyone on social media is posting photos of parties or gatherings from which they have been excluded. Girls, in particular, are masterful cyberbullies and it seems that teens feel more at liberty to be unkind when they don’t have to look their victim in the eyes. For young adults who are struggling socially, for those who have trouble navigating the complicated social world, who are feeling left out and different, social media is even more troublesome.

The author suggests that, although very difficult, parents should work hard to limit time teens spend on social media. (The other article I read in the WSJ – https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-smartphones-hijack-our-minds-1507307811, also suggests that even having a phone NEAR us decreases our ability to focus.) The more we can encourage young adults to spend time face-to-face with one another, participating in activities that DON’T involve screens, the more likely they will be to feel less depressed, to sleep better and to feel less alone. Camp seems like a great opportunity to practice this. Taking a break for a few weeks from screens can literally be life-changing.

Mindfulness for Children on the Autism Spectrum

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Mindfulness Children Autism SpectrumIt seems that MINDFULNESS is the new “buzz word” these days. Even our first-grade daughter is learning mindfulness in school! As a therapist, I had a basic understanding of meditation and the scientific research that has demonstrated that a relaxed brain is a healthier brain and can also decrease stress and the impacts of stress on the body. On a cognitive level, meditation for children on the autism spectrum has always made sense to me. AND, I always felt that I couldn’t “do” it. My brain moved too fast and thoughts were always running through my mind. I couldn’t sit still for more than 5 minutes before I got bored and decided that meditation just wasn’t for me.

But over the course of many years, I kept hearing about MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) programs taught at major hospitals and universities. Friends and colleagues kept mentioning the course to me and recommending that I give it a shot. And so, this year after giving the idea of Mindfulness some more thought and recognizing the benefits not just for myself but for our camp community and children on the Autism Spectrum too, I decided to give the program here at the University of Pennsylvania a try.

As I write, I’m about to enter week 7 of the 8-week program. And I have to say, learning about Mindfulness and starting a daily meditation “practice” has really changed the way I interact with the world around me and my own personal experience of myself. While I still feel frustrated, tense, anxious, angry at times, I’m better able to understand those experiences as just moments in time. This allows me not to get “stuck” and to be open to making a choice to feel differently. Is it easy? No. Finding 30 minutes to meditate every day (and doing that 3 times a day while we’re in the “boot camp” phase of the program) has been challenging. Stopping to breathe deeply when I’m feeling really stressed is also not easy. But the challenge has made it even more meaningful.

Because of my own growth, I’m excited to bring Mindfulness to our campers and staff this summer. I truly believe that we can help our campers feel more calm and able to manage their own struggles and hope that they can add Mindfulness to their “toolbox” of coping skills. I will be educating our Leadership Team and our staff about what mindfulness is and how it can change the way we all deal with stressful situations. We, as a staff, will learn how to use mindfulness in our daily interactions with our campers so that we are better able to help them achieve their goals. In addition, I will teach counselors how to use Mindfulness during morning meetings with their bunks and as part of the bedtime routine in an effort to help our campers unwind after a busy day at camp.

As always, our hope is to help our staff and our campers learn how to manage life’s challenges with greater ease and to find more joy in their lives. We believe Mindfulness for children on the Autism Spectrum is yet another tool we can use in this effort.

Holiday Family Time with a Child with Special Needs

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The holidays are a stressful time for everyone. There are gifts to buy, meals to cook and family members to visit. The joy that we all look forward to and the warm family moments around the fireplace sharing memories of seasons past are often fantasies that don’t work out the way we plan. And then, the joy becomes stress and resentment. All of this is true for most families but it is more common for families who have a child who struggles socially (including those with Asperger’s, NLD / NVLD).

Holidays bring about change and change is hard! At Camp Akeela, we do everything we can to prepare our campers for changes in routine. We try to give them as much notice as possible. (Rainy day plans are more difficult as the weather in Vermont is not always predictable!) Schedule changes are discussed and printed. We allow some time for our kids to express disappointment and frustration with any changes but then we move on and get them involved in an activity that they enjoy. When we can anticipate the events that make our children anxious, we can help alleviate (though not eliminate) that anxiety and perhaps allow for smoother sailing.

Our campers really enjoy helping others and they get very involved in our community service days at camp. The holidays are a wonderful time to remind our children of how much they have to be thankful for in their lives and to share some of that with others. Perhaps your child can choose a local charity that he is interested in supporting and can do some research on how he can support that cause. Then, the whole family can get involved in working together to give back. This is a wonderful way to spend family time and to teach children empathy. (It’s also a great way to add structure to a week without school!)

Many families have told us that they dread holidays … they spend family gatherings worrying that their child will do or say something that is embarrassing, inappropriate or rude, that he may have a complete meltdown and that everyone else will judge or give unsolicited (and unhelpful) advice. If we plan for these potential pitfalls and even predict them for key family members, the holiday may feel more relaxed and enjoyable.

Here are some suggestions for ways to make your holiday and family time run smoothly:

  • Preview any schedule changes a few days in advance and give your child a printed plan or itinerary.
  • Try to keep her routine as close to normal as possible. For example, for the week without school, try to keep wakeup, meals and bedtime as close to a typical day as possible. Maintain normal school-week expectations, when possible (e.g. limits on screen time, household responsibilities, etc.)
  • Make sure your child will find something familiar to eat at big holiday meals so that you know that he will eat something and feel valued
  • Bring along your child’s favorite game or an activity he can play with others at family gatherings
  • Bring along something she can do independently in case she does not want to participate in the group activities or conversations
  • Try to relax and enjoy your family. Things may not go exactly as planned but that’s ok … holidays never do!

— Debbie

Asperger’s and Bullying: Summer Camp Can Help!

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A mother of a Camp Akeela camper recently sent us the link to a New York Times article about school bullying: “School Bullies Prey on Children with Austism”. The author explains how kids on the spectrum, and other quirky children – those who learn differently or have unusual mannerisms or who don’t share interests with most of their classmates – are much more vulnerable to teasing and bullying at school. Of course, as directors of a camp for kids with Aspergers and NLD, this wasn’t news to us. Many of our Akeela campers feel that school represents a social world that can be fast-paced, cruel and unforgiving. They tell us that lunch and recess (and often gym class) are the hardest times of day. During class, although they may get funny looks for shouting out the right answers or not wearing the most up-to-date fashions, at least a teacher is there to intercede. In the cafeteria, they’re expected to navigate social situations on their own. For our campers, this can be extremely difficult. Where should they sit? Who can they talk to? What should they talk about?

At our final campfire on the last night of the camp session, we take some time to reflect upon the time we’ve spent together as a community. We talk about all of the campers’ wonderful accomplishments: becoming more independent, leaving home for three and a half weeks, going without video games!, cleaning their cabins every morning, making new friends, trying new activities and pushing themselves to do things out of their comfort zone. We encourage them to remember how accepted and loved they feel in that moment, the final night of camp. We tell them that we know how hard school can be at times and that not everyone they encounter will appreciate them for who they are. We tell them, “When you have a bad day, when someone is unkind, close your eyes and imagine you’re back on Miller Pond surrounded by friends who really care about you.”

As camp professionals, we believe that all children need to have experiences away from home where they feel successful, where they know that they are likable, where they are accepted for who they are. For our campers, that’s even more true. Children on the autism spectrum need to have experiences in safe environments where they can learn and grow, including learning how to fail. Those experiences give them the confidence and skills to manage the “real world”, where people can be so unkind.

– Debbie, Eric and Jaynie

Camp Arrival Day

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When I was asked to be a “guest blogger” I started thinking about the start of the summer and in particular, arriving at camp. Arrival Day is a big deal. Some people find it exciting, some totally overwhelming … and I’m talking about everyone: campers, families, staff, newcomers and returners. I come from the UK, where camp isn’t nearly as much a “way of life” as it is for many in the US. When I first started my camp career many years ago, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Yes, I’d seen movies set at camps and read all of the information that I’d been sent, but it was all a bit of a voyage into the unknown. I had my safety net though, as I knew a couple of people at that camp. Years later, when I started working at Akeela, it was a different story. This time I knew the basics of camp life but didn’t know anybody at Akeela. I’d spoken with Debbie and Eric on Skype, but that was it. Both very nerve-wracking experiences, but both very positive experiences. I was made to feel so welcome at each, and quickly came to feel like a part of the family.

Over the years, I’ve seen many different ways of people handling their emotions on Arrival Day. From those who arrive filled with energy, eager to see old friends and have new experiences, to those who experience more difficulty with their transition: the camper who refused to enter their cabin because “it smells of wood”, the boy who refused to speak for 8 days and would only communicate by scribbling notes, the girl who was so over-stimulated that she couldn’t stop talking, barely even pausing to draw breath.

The arrival that will stay with me forever though, comes from my second year as a Unit Leader at my old camp. Arrival Day was going smoothly, and eventually the time came when the buses arrived, and everyone had arrived. I was performing my duties and checking people off on my list, when I realized that one was missing. At pretty much the same moment, my walkie-talkie crackled into life and asked me to make my way to the Health Center. When I arrived I was confronted with the sight of a young man, sobbing and on the verge of hysteria. One of the nurses pulled me to one side and told me that he’d been like this for a lot of the bus ride, and so they got him off the bus at the office and brought him straight to the Health Center to try and calm him down. I sat down and talked to him for a good couple of hours. I found out that he was homesick, that this was the first time he had been so far away from home and that he thought that he had made a big mistake coming to camp for the summer. Over the two hours, he calmed down a lot, and when I eventually asked him if he felt ready to go down to the bunk and meet people he nervously agreed.

The thing is that this was not Camper Arrival Day, it was the Staff Arrival Day! Martijn was a 22 year old counselor who had come on his own from the Netherlands. Well, it took Martijn a few days to come out of his shell, but he turned out to be one of the most empathetic and engaging counselors I have ever had the privilege of working with. He came back to camp for three years and did some fantastic work with the campers that were placed in his care. We’re still in touch to this day, and he always reminds me of his inauspicious arrival and how he didn’t think he would make it that summer, and I think that’s what will stay with me.

In fact, I suppose that’s what I’m trying to say in this blog. No matter how nervous you feel about coming to camp, we’ll do our very best to help you through it and get you to have an amazing summer. Everyone that I’ve mentioned here went on to have a great time and made new friends, enjoyed their activities and did better than they thought they would with being away from home. Sometimes these things aren’t the easiest, and that’s OK – but there are always people who are there to help and make you feel better.

– Rob Glyn-Jones
Camp Akeela Head Counselor